The Escape
Ksenia Kisselincheva
They walked through the
village cemetery at dusk. They were trying to remain unnoticed until they
crossed the river and vanished into the woods, covering the hillside. The snow
was getting deeper and deeper and their pace slowed down. Emma thought What if we move in a circle? She got
frightened for the first time. What was she doing with two strange men in
winter in this freezing cold, trying to illegally cross the border with
The men were watching her
vigilantly and could hardly conceal their mistrust in her. First, she was a
woman and secondly they hardly knew her from a few times in the bistro in the
neighborhood.
They had noticed that she took
her liquor well, even better than most men. She treated men like mates and
would not allow anyone treat her as an object of courtesy. Even, if some man
tried to chat her up, she cut him short with a few abrupt phrases like
"You are wasting your time" or "Let's have a round of arm
wrestling".
She was a man's lassie and she
was usually dressed in jeans, a leather jacket and heavy boots, studded with
copper buttons. Her hair was a close crop like a boy's haircut, she wore no
jewellery, except a chain round her neck and her wrist. The general impression
was that she was a fan of heavy metal which was very trendy in
Emma was also fond of the followers of the
hippies from the 60's who were outside the normal standards of appearance, behavior
and lifestyle. She loved to listen with them the recordings of the Beatles,
Pink Floyd and Vangelis. They dreamed of
a life, similar to that at
She did not dare to complain
that her legs were getting colder, shivers crept up her back and she had a sore
throat. So, she dreamed of a blazing fire in a fireplace, but she was fully aware
such an idea so far was a mirage in the middle of the snow-bound woods through
which they had been walking for hours on end.
At last, at midnight they
stopped walking and kindled a fire, to get warmed up a bit before they prepared
to spend the night. They tore off big fur branches and piled them up in four
heaps which served as their "matresses".
When the men slipped into
their sleeping bags and started snoring, Emma took out the brandy bottle and
had a few sips. She immediately felt the wave of blessed warmth undulate up and
down her blood stream. She glimpsed at the sky and breathed deeply with a sense
of relief, there were no signs of a coming storm. Emma felt she was getting
seriously worried and she feared they could easily desert her because of her
illness and move on forward.
At dawn, the men snarled, annoyed with her,
noticing that her eyes were feverish. One of them, with the nick-name of Ombre,
asked her angrily:
'Are you all right?'
She was in a hurry to retort:
'Why the hell are you asking
me? I'm perfectly all right.'
Bundy, the other man growled at her:
'That's what happens when you
bring a molly-coddle with you. You leave her behind and she will betray us.'
Then there was an ominous
silence and Bundy snapped:
'Walk in front of me, you,
sniveling damsel, I must keep an eye on you!'
She did not dare to contradict
him and tried to walk more briskly, because she was afraid they could decide to
kill her. She wanted to walk last of all, but Bundy said curtly:
'I want to keep an eye on you,
so don't moan and groan!'
While she was treading with
great difficulty in the knee-deep snow, Emma was obsessed with imagining different horror scenarios they could choose to get rid of her. Bundy might easily work
Ombre up against her. They could rape her and beat her to death...Then they
would bury her under the thick snow in some gully where her corpse would not be
discovered in the next month or two.
In
case Ombre did not agree with this bloody plot, Bundy could strangle her, while
she was deeply asleep, whacked with fatigue. The most horrifying scenario,
which made shiver as if electricity shot through her body, was the notion of
how Bundy might cut her throat with his antique dagger at his belt.
Swept away by this whirlpool
of nightmarish apparitions, she felt like making a feverish reckoning of her
young life. How did she end up here? Why was she walking at the end of her
tether in this snow-bound wilderness with two strange men in an impulsive
attempt to flee to the West? Emma was in the prime of her life, 20 years old,
she had a loving family and... a boyfriend who was the world to her.
However, things got sour when
Plamen cheated on her and she found out about it. Then the world toppled over
for her!
The next day she went to the
cafe alone, she was wearing sunglasses to disguise her eyes, swollen with
crying. She came across Ombre who amused her and made her laugh, while her
tears were about to burst any second.
In the meantime, they had
quite a few cocktails -vodka with tomato juice and finally they ended up in his
attic room. He admitted to her that he had liked her for a long time, but she
had not noticed him because she had been bewitched by Plamen.
Naturally, after listening to
some rock music and having a glass of whisky, they ended up making sex,
strongly influenced by the innumerable shots of booze. She gave in to the
passion, hoping it would numb the agony from the break up with Plamen. Their
lust rocked and swayed them like a boat on a rough sea. Strangely enough, they
came at the same instant, screaming at the top of their voices.
She was disgusted with her
drunken lust but it was a relaxation for her to have sex naturally, like an
excited animal, without the intoxication of love. At least, she wouldn't be
hurt...
At dawn, they fell blissfully
asleep, with twisted bodies, sticking with sweat. Emma dreamed a dream, which
recurred over and over again. There, she was not with Ombre, but with Plamen.
They were on an excursion by boat, whose first stop was at
However, when they came to
Kapala Charshi, the large covered market, imperceptibly they lagged behind in
the group and dropped into a store, selling carpets. Hidden behind the hanging
rugs, they suddenly felt safe and excited. Emma was exhilarated that they
managed to escape and she embraced Plamen for long as if seeking refuge.
Suddenly, she would wake up and strongly disappointed she would have to face
reality.
Initially, the idea of
escaping to the West was born when she met Plamen. Slowly, they had a plan to
save some money and get across the border in winter, when communications would
be more difficult. They both realized very clearly that they must think of
friends or acquaintances behind the Iron Curtain to give them a helping hand.
She could think just of
Momchil, who was a close friend of her brother's. His saga was typical for all
Bulgarians, who had successfully made it to the West. They went to work on a
contract to some northern African country like
Momchil was an electrical engineer with
excellent German, so he started as a technician soon after arriving in
Naturally, her brother and
Emma had been cross examined many times by the police and their letters had
been inspected. Plamen, on his part, had a male cousin, who had been a
lifeguard on the
But things did not go as she
wanted. The love tango came to an end, when she found out about Plamen's
cheating. He kept phoning her, insisting on a meeting with her. She kept
refusing for fear that she might show a weakness on being close to him. Their
dream of escaping together with him to a better world was ruined!
Finally, she hesitantly agreed
to meet Plamen at another cafe. She was wearing sunglasses because she was
afraid she might burst into tears when she looked at him face to face. Plamen treated
her as if she was a crystal glass, he was very gentlemanly and as she expected
he was trying to disparage his "deviation":
'Believe me, this was just a
drunken affair. Even I don't remember her name!'
Saying this, he attempted to
embrace her. For a minute, they stayed like that, however she gathered courage
to withdraw from him and utter:
'I need some time to think it
over and decide what to do.'
He was fully aware that he had
to be patient, because he had hurt her deeply. He was very careful with his
choice of words:
'Believe me, I miss you every
instant, but I am not going to disturb you until you call me.'
On parting, he delicately
kissed her cheek and said;
'Don't forget that you are the
world to me and I cannot think of my life without you!'
Emma forced a smile and headed
to the door. Immediately her tears burst out, she knew she had seen him for the
last time. As soon as she was on the street, she was taken up by a sense of
loss as if a chasm had opened in her soul.
Now she was seized by a desire
for revenge, she craved to hurt him as much as he had hurt her. She had already
deliberated the escape plan with Ombre, there was no way back. Emma was
thinking that if she died while she was escaping across the border, she would
make Plamen feel guilty for good.
On the second night of their walking
through the woods, they spotted a few lights of village houses on the other
side of the border and they hoped to be able to cross the border at dawn. The
men were exhausted and crashed into sleep, snoring heavily. She mustered
courage to escape from them and move on further on her own. Emma was thinking
that even if she died with cold in the snow-bound wilderness, it would be a
better scenario than the horror of being murdered by Bundy, this disgusting
gorilla! She was more and more aware that she was turning into a serious threat
to their successful escape. Emma decided to prepare for her ultimate transition
to the better world and she took a few things she needed badly, while listening
to their snoring.
She listened a bit longer to
make sure they were fast asleep and she headed with determination into the
snow-bound forest, lighting her way with the torch, she had stolen from Ombre.
In a little while, luckily it started snowing quietly, covering her footsteps.
She couldn't evaluate how much time had passed, but suddenly she felt very
tired and she was making a huge effort to break a trail in the snow which was
getting deeper and deeper...
Emma decided to have a short break to gather
strength to move on further. She looked intently around the spot with the help
of the torchlight and saw an age-old tree with something like a deep hollow
near its crooked and thick roots. She tried hard and managed to get into the
hollow in a womb-like posture. It was a huge relief to feel in a kind of
shelter. She knew very well she mustn't allow herself to fall asleep!
Little by little she warmed up a bit.
She felt relaxed while she sang a rock tune to herself. Little by little, she
started getting blissfully carried away. She was feeling no pain, no fear, as
if she was back at home. Idyllic pictures flashed in her mind, as if she was
watching some fanciful installations from an exhibition on TV. Thus, she did
not know these were the very last instants of her life. Her soul was gliding
along a green tunnel with a bright sparkling light at its bottom. It was casting
a spell on her with its heavenly luminous beauty. In such a way, her cherished
dream to escape to a better world came true...
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