“ I REMAIN BULGARIAN IN A VERY FUNDAMENTAL WAY”
Dr. Ksenia Kisselincheva
I had so many questions, swarming in my head after I saw the documentary about his life. Dr
Lubomir Kanov was one of the many political prisoners during the repressive totalitarian
regime, who after his release from prison had the determination to look for a better life in the
West and found a way out to do so. In the winter of 1984 he arrived in Montreal where his
brother lived after he “immigrated” to Canada 13 years earlier. I asked him about his first
impressions of this other forbidden world which we could only see on films and dream about.
He answered with his typical wry smile: “First I was dazzled by the unusual for me
brightness. There were so many bright lights everywhere-on the streets, shopping malls, cars,
decorations everywhere. Secondly, I was confused by the abundance of merchandise; I found
it hard to make my choice.” So, at first, he felt stunned and helpless. He was 40 years old and
he had no idea about how Western societies worked. He had been through a lot of hell way
back in his native country, but who was he now? He was a man with no country, he was
nobody, a middle aged man with no money, no friends! He had a very basic knowledge of
English-he didn’t know about the language courses for immigrants, so he had to learn the
language all by himself. This was one real feat, but the next challenge was even bigger – he
had to try and take the qualifying exam for Foreign Medical Graduates. The exam covered the
whole field of medicine, i.e 20,000 pages of dense medical texts. While studying for the
exam, he had to work as a nursing aid for a minimum wage. He had no choice but to learn at
night up to the point where his head got dizzy and his eyes were itchy. He pored over the
heavy books until dawn, until the doves in Esplanade Street of Montreal would start calling
each other in the maple trees. Lubo is in a reminiscent mood, but he states firmly: “There was
no option to surrender. No way to betray all the suffering and sacrifice and not to succeed.”
His voice quivers for a few seconds while he is telling me about the agony of leaving their
widowed mother in the hands of the State Security.
“Did you have any serious problems with learning the language so fast and all by yourself?”
“Definitely I had to grapple with a huge problem in this respect. But, since my entire future as
a professional was heavily in doubt, I made a gigantic effort and managed to make the
impossible happen. I was able to pass all the exams in about a year and a half, while learning
English at the same time all by myself.” I was greatly impressed by his achievement at the
time and I thought of the unlimited resources of will power and intellectual capacity that some
persons show under extreme pressure. People like Lubo could serve as an example and
inspiration to others who are prone to be negative and to give up too quickly. Also, I realized
he had to achieve a very sophisticated level of English in order to practice as a psychiatrist.
But the trials and tribulations did not come to an end at that point. After passing the horrific
exams, Quebec created additional obstacles to Lubo in practicing his beloved profession.
They required additional training in the hospitals to learn the system which was a
precondition to passing another exam for the Provincial Board in order to be certified as a
doctor of medicine. Dr Kanov had to wait for another 11 years before he could be licensed.
That’s when he decided to move to the US. Another very difficult decision because it meant a
second painful separation from his brother!
“Were people in the US aware of the atrocities of the communist regimes in Eastern Europe?
Did you try to share with some of them your traumatic experience?”
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“I was amazed and shocked by how ignorant they were about the recent history of this part of
Europe. Once I even tried to give a lecture to some college students but their ignorance was
astounding. They knew a lot more about Hitler and were much more concerned about the
nuclear bombs of the USSR.”
“How has the Bulgarian community in New York evolved for the last 20 years? Are the
people getting together to keep their national traditions and to help each other out?”
“The Bulgarian community abroad is struggling to survive and socializing is also limited by
the huge distances in US and Canada. People have very little spare time. Not just Bulgarians,
but everybody is very busy, trying to provide for their families. Socializing is a luxury which
not everybody can afford. The Bulgarian church in NY is supposed to function as a social
club but it has something of the neglect and sadness of the churches in Bulgaria which, I
think, is not compatible with the Hope we expect from our Savior. In general, they help each
other out, but the number of cheaters is significant, because the moral decay of communism
does not stop at the border. This makes the majority of Bulgarians who are hard-working to
be very careful when dealing with compatriots they don’t know quite well.”
I was curious to know how he saw his native land after so many years of absence. Wasn’t the
transition period going on for too long?
“Bulgaria has changed significantly but it does not have a clear image yet. The young are very
similar to the young everywhere in the world –they are smart, goal-oriented and very good at
the IT. But, then, you have the Roma community, the retired people, the farmers who work
under hard conditions and unbearable uncertainty. So, the picture is very scattered, the values
and social structures, leading to a normal civilized way of life have not been established yet.”
Lubo is convinced that “the grotesque transition” to free market and democracy is to be
accounted for by the leading role of the ex secret services and the gangs from the sports
schools. In his opinion, they have been manipulating the social processes in the country at the
expense of millions of ordinary people who attended with so much entusiasm the marches and
the meetings of the early 90’s.
“Do you think, as a psychiatrist, all these negative trends seriously affect the mental health of
the nation?”
“Unfortunately they do. The sense of uncertainty makes more and more people depressed and
neurotic since they don’t feel they are in control of their lives. Today people contact less with
nature, with their fellow beings, they are afraid of sharing their emotions.”
“How did you change as a person in the last twenty years?
“Yes, I changed a lot and yet I didn’t change. I simply built new extensions over the old
foundations. I think all the time both in English and Bulgarian. I am an American, yet I
remain Bulgarian in a very fundamental way. I think my experience of life was most
enriching, because I came to know two diametrically opposite social systems.”
So, Dr Kanov went through a lot of suffering and sadness, but he rose above it all and could
feel the joy of achievements, otherwise unthinkable. His turbulent personal destiny is another
striking example of the indomitable human spirit, or as William Faulkner said in his Nobel
Prize speech, “Man will not only endure, he will prevail.”
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